what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
