ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
