She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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