I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
