Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
