Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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