he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
