i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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