Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
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