So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
