We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Too much gin, very little bucket
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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