problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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