One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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