So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
