I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
