idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
