just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
