i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
