the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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