Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
