This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
