Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
