Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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