So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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