Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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