I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
