Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I fill condoms, not promises.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
