I'm going to jail i love you
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize