No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
