i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
