I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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