You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
organizing the empties. That sober.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
