Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
