Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
