I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
