Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize