Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
