next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
