Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
only you would photoshop your dick
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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