Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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