lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I seem to have left my pride at pride
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
