There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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