i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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