I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
