So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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