All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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