Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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