im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
