I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize