I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
my vag is so smooth its legendary
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize