I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
