She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize