If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
