just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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