I just saw a hot homeless man
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
