So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Let's get the cat blown out
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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