she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
