There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
