super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
