I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
