After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
