So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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