I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
